I'm still alive

I had no idea it's been so long since my last post. Reality is, I've been keeping busy, and really haven't been online all that much.

As I put in my last post, I really can't do a workout in front of my roommate, so I'd been going to the gym. And I did stick to the every other day cardio, and alternating days the weight routines. The thing was, I started feeling like I'd hit a plateau. I wasn't thrilled with my progress.

So what I started doing was going to the cardio classes every evening - for about the last month or so. The class is at 5:30, so I take my workout clothes with me and leave the bag in the car. Then head there after work. In addition, I did start going to the step class on Saturday mornings. And since I don't want to give up the strenth training, what I've been trying to do is to go to the gym in the mornings before work, usually 2x in the weekdays, and doing a weight routine. Sundays do not have a cardio class, so I head to the gym during the 4 hours it's open (noon til 4).

I've not been able to follow that totally faithfully - sometimes things interfere - like 4th of July, I went to the Saturday morning class, had to skip Sunday because of a birthday party, then Monday I went to the weights in the morning because I had a family thing that night, and Tuesday the gym was closed. I missed the gym this past Sunday, but my roommate and his daughter (who was in town the past couple weeks) had gone to his parents, so I did the Jillian Michaels workout dvd. Today I had to skip the cardio because I was going to dinner with the two of them and my daughter.

Anyway, I'm not sure about my weight loss, as my scale isn't the best. However, if my scale is right and I compare it to what I was before, I believe I've lost about 25 pounds so far. However, my clothes fit a lot differently. I've dropped down to between a size 8 and 10, depending on the clothes and fit. I just bought some Laura Ashley clothes (on sale) in medium. According to my goal, I have about 15 more pounds to lose (that's if my scale is right).

While I'm still striving for my goal, I was looking at my naked self in the mirror this morning. It's much easier to tolerate now - I don't see creases in my back, it's now a smooth curve rounding to my butt. I've got much better tone in my butt now, all those lunges paid off! I'll never be happy with my butt - there is cellulite that I know won't go away. My waist is very well defined now. I'm not happy with my arms, or my thighs. But those may never be as thin as I'd like, even if I got the fat sucked out.

Do I have enough body fat to lose 15 more pounds? I don't know. We'll see. But I am not being complacent about it. I lost weight before, but with depression and all the stuff going on in my life, it came back. What I do know is that I'm much more reliant on exercise now, and less on cutting so much out of my diet. It's not that I wasn't working out, and in fact I never stopped, but I wasn't working out as intently. I don't plan to keep up this routine permanently, but I don't want to fall back into a lightweight routine either. I haven't been as good this time around about cutting out sugars. But I've tried to be sensible about it.

Take, for example, cookies. I love dark chocolate, and I've always liked chocolate chip cookies. But I took the recipe for chocolate chip cookies from my old Betty Crocker cookbook, and I substituted Giardhelli 60% cocoa content chips for regular, and I am using the Splenda brown sugar blend & the Splenda baking sugar blend, instead of the regular brown & white sugars. Now, mind you, there's still a lot of sugar in them, but it's half the amount. The great thing is - no one can tell! Even my roommate thinks that they are the best cookies he's ever had, and has no idea that it's half the sugar. He's someone who could stand to gain weight, even.

So I've tried - things like that. Then again, the other night at the store, I really wanted this Godiva Chocolate Raspberry Truffle ice cream. So I bought a pint. And I had some last night and the night before. But I didn't scarf down the whole container, and I have worked my butt off in cardio.

There's some stuff coming up that might cut into my workouts for a bit, but I'll detail it more in my other blog. I'll just say here that thanks to my working out, I discovered a problem, but fortunately not one that's a life-threatening or untreatable problem.

Last thing for now, I signed up for the email list at Jillian Michaels' website. I really recommend it. They mail out every day an email with weight loss tips. I haven't signed up for her new weight loss program, but with all the stuff she sends out, and the fact that she clearly knows her stuff, I bet it's worth it.

I'm going to try to work in my posts a LOT more often than I have! I think it's important to keep up with it better, it's just been hard to motivate myself at the end of the day.

I'm back

I didn't mean to drop off the face of the earth, but I've been so busy trying to save my ass at work, that I haven't had time to do anything like blogging.

That said, one thing I haven't done is let the weight loss attempts slide. I've actually increased my activity - one thing that helped was getting a roommate recently. There's just no way I'm going to do my workouts at home in front of him. I'd look too much like a dork. Now granted, it's only been this week that he's been in here, but I've started doing the cardio workouts in classes at the gym (in addition to the alternating days I do strength training). I also finally got to meet with the personal trainer. Once so far, but it looks like he'll be able to meet up with my daughter and me again on Monday.

I had a follow-up doctor's appointment at the end of March. I'd lost 9 pounds at that point. According to my scale at home, which I know isn't exactly the most accurate, I'm actually about 16 pounds lighter than I was when I started this blog. It would be nice if that's right! I do feel better. I feel like I've got better muscle definition.

I was afraid of the cardio classes - like what if I can't actually make it through a class? But I've been keeping up, even if I end up with sweat pouring off of me. The one yesterday was interesting. The teacher (she's this tiny little thing, teaches like 8 cardio classes a week - often two classes a day - in addition to her full time job) had us using those exercise balls in cardio routines. Holding the ball in front of you and doing squats for example. And the traditional way of situps and stuff on it.

Anyway, I'll try to get some more blogs in here and there. I've got a bit of breathing room, but I still have to keep on my toes, so we'll see.

Please tell me this isn't a cold :(

I swear, I hate that feeling you get in your throat, where you just FEEL it turning into that dreaded illness. The freakin cold. I can't deal with colds. I'm such a wuss.

Today wasn't too bad with food. Could be better, but I'm working on it. I did a modified Jillian Michaels workout - read: I did the exercises from it a bunch of times and worked up a sweat, but didn't follow the DVD because I was watching CSI instead.

Tomorrow's supposed to be a gym day, but I don't know if I'll make it. My daughter talked me into going to the circus with her, her friend, and her friend's parents. That means getting to the civic center at 6:30. Doesn't sound like quality gym time! So maybe I'll just hit it Friday and let tomorrow be a rest day.

Doctor day

Finally got the exam over with. I admit, I felt a bit silly when my doctor said, "Now I need to feel your belly", and he kinda laughs and said, "That's new" about my belly-button ring. I got all embarrassed, but he said it was cute.

Anyway, he's got me set up to get an ultrasound next Monday to rule out fibroids causing my problems. If that gets the all clear, I'll probably start on birth control pills for the next 6 months.

All my lab results were good, so that is nice. They'll call with the pap results - although I should tell them not to call my home number, since I don't have an answering machine hooked up anymore after it kept falling until it no longer worked.

My doctor agreed with me that I need to do something about my weight, so I'll be working with him on it. I go back after the results from the ultrasound, I think. Get the pill prescription done and what not.

Whew

Today was the second (and last) part of the RAD course. It was interesting. I'm not sure I am too keen on the fact that I went ahead and agreed to be part of the group that was filmed for the news. Apparently they'll cut and splice and put it on the local ABC news on Monday. They asked for someone to be interviewed by the newspeople, but I didn't want to do that. My co-worker thought for sure I would, lol. But I'm like - doing it from a bit of a distance is one thing, doing it up close is another. Plus wtf would I say. Sure it might have been my only chance to be on tv like that, but bleh. I've been in a lame-ass carpet commercial, so that and being in the background is enough.

I don't even know if I'll see it. It's not the same as when my daughter was on the news. One of the other moms called to tell me about that, so I taped it. I still have it.

I did the Jillian Michaels kickboxing workout after I got home. Well after Wal-Mart and after I got home. It was pretty intense on top of what I already did earlier. At the class, we followed up by doing scenarios. We had to put on all this sparring gear and walk into a room with a couple hefty guys wearing all sorts of padding. They'd attack you - you'd know you were going to be attacked, but not really how. One of the scenarios involved standing there with your eyes closed, while they taunt you, and not open your eyes until they actually attack.

The scenarios were taped, but only so that we could watch them all after. Of course, waiting half an hour while they figured out how to make the camera display on the tv was quite long. It was so weird to see myself on the tape like that. I was really using the "hammerfist" on the one guy, even when he dropped. They drop when you score a good hit or so on them.

Anyway, long busy day. I'm glad I went through the program, and I'm glad it's over!

Not really doing much tonight. I really need to get a life!

It's almost Friday!

And boy do I need it.

I've done iffy with my eating habits. I really have to make a change. I'm ok with the exercise part. Going to the gym and using the nautilus equipment every other day. The alternating days, I've been doing cardio - right now the Jillian Michaels Kicbox.

Doctor on Tuesday. I'll get the results of the blood test, and I'll be able to go over my concerns with him. I may have to get a referral to a specialist for some of the problems, so we'll see.

Meanwhile, if you go to Movie Gallery, here's a coupon for you, expires 3/31/06:

Another weekend over..

I ended up going to an Italian restaurant nearby with my daughter for lunch. Funny thing is, it was totally unexpected. I'd tried to get a hold of her, but it turned out she'd left her cell at a friend's house. I get this call as I'm pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store, and realize it's a call from my house. It baffled me for a moment. I'd actually wondered if the cats somehow knocked over my phone and hit redial - although I wouldn't have called my cell from my house. Anyway, it was my daughter, and she wanted to go to lunch, and had stopped by my place. So after a moment of decision - subs from Publix, go somewhere, what? I said I'd get the groceries, go back and pick her up, and we could go to the italian place.

So we do that, we walk in, and as we're heading to a table, I happened to look up and see the guy that I've been seeing for a while. We said hi. It was a bit of a surprise to say the least. He was there with his parents and some family friends. I am always at a loss when it comes to guys' parents. I didn't think we should just go over to their table, so we sat down a few tables over, and had our menus. I was debating going over to their table, but figured I would after we ordered. Instead, D came over to talk to us, sat down for a bit. And we exchanged pleasantries and what not. I said oh man, I should bring L over to meet your parents. And they were both like nahh, that's not going to be fun for my daughter.

Anyway, he headed back to his table, we were going over the menus, then his mom came over and gave me a hug and sat down to talk to us as we were ordering our drinks. Brief weirdness as I tried to order a diet, the guy asked me which one, I got confused and asked him if there was more than one, and he was saying they were listed, and I'm looking, and I'm like - you have more than one diet soda? And he said no, just diet Pepsi. And I said, ok, then diet pepsi.

Anyway, that was just thrown in there as an aside. D's mom talked to us a bit, told my daughter she was very pretty, which my daughter was kind of like, um... thanks. It was nice, it was brief, his family wasn't going to be there much longer. She went back. They left not long after, D came by to talk again before he left.

Anyway, just a long bit of a story there. It was just that the timing was really funny, if I'd taken 10 minutes longer at the movie rental store, or the grocery, or if I'd gotten my brows waxed like I'd wanted to, we would have totally missed them. My daughter asked me what was going on with us, and I really didn't have a good answer for her. I said that he was going through a lot right now, and it's just made things tough. She said it felt a bit funny, that she always feels funny about compliments (probably my fault, I'm the same way). I said that I liked his mom, she's really nice, and she's NOT crazy (like my mom). It was nice seeing them, but it's also a bit saddening. Because I do care about him, that hasn't changed. And because he does have great parents, which I'm a bit envious of.

As for food, I got the eggplant ziti. I ate half. I have the rest as leftovers. I guess I'll save it for tomorrow. I'd eaten this kashi cereal for breakfast. Haven't really had anything dinner-wise.

I watched "Just Like Heaven" as I digested. It was a good movie, I liked it a lot. Then I did the Jillian Michaels kickboxing workout. Man do I work up a sweat with that!